Dirk Dirtwood's Dirt House
The Adventures of a Southern Dipshit

An extra helping from the Farm

Round here people are really in to their shit. Their religion and shit. It kinda  scares me.

                Today when I was workin on the farm, we had this huge carton of milk outside, filled with little 8 oz cartons of milk in them. I’m milking this cow when I suddenly notice this little lady helping herself to a carton of milk. She’s gonna steal ’em I’m thinkin’. I watch as the little lady makes her way towards me. Either she’s gonna pay for  ’em, or she’s gonna kill me and then go take the whole carton. She may even eat me once I’m dead but statistically speaking, this is a small probability.

                This ladys like “How much fer dis?” I tell her 40 cents. She gives me a dollar and says with an innocent laugh “I’d rather pay for these, it ain’t worth goin to Hell over  .40 cents.”

                Bitch, I’m sure you’ve commited worse sins than .40 cents in your lifetime, so if you believe that way, go to hell.

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