Dirk Dirtwood's Dirt House
The Adventures of a Southern Dipshit

The ever famous Curveball!

                     Me and some of my friends, or my friends and I, used to always do this shit called a CURVEBALL. The curveball was so effective it ended up becoming world renowned, everyone knew this shit! EVERYONE! The Eskimo down the street who didn’t even speak English ended up knowing what the Curveball was, cause it was that damn important! I can only imagine a world without my infamous curveball; an African president, a US in recession, a bunch of hippies hell bent on green energy. What a world that would be!

                Anyway, I have a confession to make. I’ve been meaning to tell people this shit for years but I’ve been too afraid, a little pussy, a little tuna cat trying to find a mouth. Anyway, I’ve got this thing where every day it’s like they said I can’t rap about bein broke no more, they ain’t say I can’t rap about coke no more!  Slut, you think I won’t choke no whore till her vocal cords don’t work in her throat no more!?!

                And everyone is looking at me and I get real serious, my eyes get real red and look nothing different from Satan fucking an angel and I really gotta tell you, my name is Marshall Mathers, I’m an alcoholic. I gotta disease and they don’t know what to call it. And to tell you the truth the whole time I’ve felt like bitch I’m comin out swingin! So fast to make ya eyes spin! You get knocked the fuck out like Mike Tyson!

                And that’s a fucking CURVEBALL! See,  you start the thing off like you gonna say something personal  and serious and then you bust into a rap everyone knows. I just used a rap from like 10 years ago and GOD DAMN! Am I fucking that old already? I’d still be fuckin’ ya mom! Like seriously, ever since the day I was born, drugs what they used to say I was on, I don’t know which way I was goin but everyday they keep playin my song!

                And that’s the CURVEBALL, rapping at inappropriate times. It’s great for birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, weddings, you name it!

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